I was genuinely pleased with myself at the end of last year because even though I didn’t lose any weight, I didn’t gain any either. Two weeks ago, after a few months away I decided to step on the scale again and see how things were going.
I weighed 15 pounds more than I did at the end of last year! Fifteen pounds! What?? How?? In spite of being incredibly shocked the first thing I had to ask myself is: where had that weight been added to my body? I haven’t changed size – all my clothes continue to fit the way they did last year. I don’t struggle to get into my clothes and nothing is too tight. I honestly had no idea what was going on. Did I really gain weight last year? Or, did I add 15 pounds in a few months this year? I just couldn’t figure out what happened, but the pounds were there.
A few days after this shock I was watching a Instagram post from @gwenacious (who is a follower and an all-around lovely person). She is halfway through her weight loss and fitness journey, and in the video she called herself a “fit bitch.” She eats and exercises, she said, like someone who is already fit, not someone who is trying to get fit and lose weight. She said this mindset has been the key to her success this time after so many failures.
Her words hit me like a ton of bricks because I have NEVER eaten or exercised like someone who considers themselves fit, but ALWAYS like someone who is trying to eventually be fit. It’s no wonder I’ve never been able to stick to a way of eating, or any exercise, because even if I did, I have never seen myself as a truly fit person. And, it’s incredibly easy to return to bad habits when you believe in your core that you’re not fit (and never going to get there either) which is what I have always done. It became perfectly clear to me that once I get the pounds off I go right back to doing all the things that put the weight on to begin with because in my mind I’ve never accepted myself as a healthy, fit person. In my mind I have always been the fat, unfit girl. (By the way, this return to old habits has been rightly called – in my opinion – the Great Forgetting, the leaving behind all the hard work and mental effort that has been previously put into the process.)
I decided then and there that going forward Brett and I were going to shop, eat, and act like we are fit people in good shape who intend to stay that way (Brett already is). I mentally changed how I approach eating and exercise and made some immediate, easy changes to the weekly menu plan, adding more protein and salads and dumping the huge amount of carbs that we had been eating. We’ve changed the amounts we eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I started walking again with Brett and the dogs and am getting out of my chair more (although my back is not sure it likes this part). Strength training is coming up. I’m learning more about staying fit when you’re over 70. I’m also sleeping better and giving up coffee has really made a difference in that.
I still have no idea where those 15 pounds came from or where they are in my body. My hypothesis is that I must have somehow done something wrong when I weighed myself at the end of last year because I don’t think I suddenly added 15 pounds this year. Maybe it’s just the curse of growing older, but for now it remains one of life’s little mysteries.
Do you remember when set points were all the talk? Like your body has a set point that will be really hard to change? I’m convinced my set point has crept up about 10 pounds in the past 10 years, and even though I’m pretty active, there really isn’t much movement unless I really overeat (travel, restaurants, social stuff) or starve myself (usually when anxiety makes me lose my appetite) at which point I gain 4-5 lbs or lose same. And the minute I return to my “normal” eating, I return to that weight. It’s discouraging, but I do continue with my yoga classes and walking (when it’s not icy). And I guess I’ve accepted that this is my normal now. I’m healthy and fairly fit (with some aches and pains from arthritis), but I sure would like to be about 10-15 lbs lighter. Then I see pics of myself when I was younger and realize I thought I was too heavy then, and I wonder if I need to just accept myself where I am. (Sorry to the long post, but this post really hit me in the gut this morning.)
As for clothes fitting as we gain, I have had the same experience and wonder how much of it is body composition shifting. I do see some of that. 😝
I keep telling myself that this is what I am supposed to weigh right now but it’s honestly so much more than I’ve ever weighed so I don’t get it. I’m eating less but healthier, exercising more, but still gaining! It’s just so discouraging. I’d like to be getting more exercise but have to be so careful not to strain my back. I moved furniture yesterday and that about did me in! Oh well, I think I just need to keep trying, continue to eat healthy, and just see how it goes.
Why did I read this while unwrapping a Ferrer Rocher?! But I am the same way – I see progress and think I can revert. I am hoping to get back into a fit mindset too. Do you think your scale could be off?!
I wish the scale was off, but sadly no. I have been reading that many post-menopausal women are going through the same or have gone through unexplained weight loss. I plan on finding a Dr. (gyno) in Oregon that deals with menopause and maybe I can find out what’s been going on.
My style has always been to reach my goal then enter the Great Forgetting and throw all my training and changes out the window! Not this time though, and I am finding that this change in mindset is making a difference in what I choose to buy and eat and my desire to get out and walk. I have pretty much given up sugar (other than in fruits) and seem to have mostly lost my cravings for carbs. I am concentrating more on getting enough protein (I never got enough before) and fiber these days, and making sure I get out and walk every day.
Laura, I look forward to chatting about this more with you in a few weeks. 🙂
I understand your journey, having completed my own in 2025. The key for me, first in getting there, and now in staying there, is that my prior relationship with food, which needed to change, was about so much more than simple hunger. And changing that mindset and the constant messaging my brain was sending, has been slow, yes, but steady. It took me about a full year to settle into a new understanding of the role of food in my life. I still do battle my brain, but the battles are much, much smaller, meaning much less effort than when I first began.
Your amazing transformation is an inspiration. I am just getting started on this relationship I have had with food and am using some changes that have happened naturally to my advantage. I don’t want or eat as much as I did and could in the past, nor do I crave sugar or carbs like I once did. Whether that will last or not I don’t know right now. I am still amazed that I was able to part with coffee so easily, but I don’t miss it a bit. But I know this is going to be a long journey and prepare myself for it every days. My biggest battle these days is getting enough exercise. I love to walk but hate the humidity here, and my back issues get in the way of lots of strength training I could and should be doing.
Can’t wait to see you guys next month! I plan to glean all the advice I can.