The Good, the Bad, and Tennessee

Posted on by Laura & Brett

In less than two weeks Brett and I will officially say goodbye to Tennessee and be on our way to Oregon. We have spent just over four years here (we arrived on August 7, 2022), thinking we’d only be around for two when we first arrived. We added on the extra years as our daughter-in-law’s time the Japanese Consulate kept getting extended, and with our son still in Japan we knew she could not manage on her own with our grandchildren attending schools in two different directions with two totally different time schedules. With our son’s return to the U.S. earlier this year we are free to pick up our lives again and we’re finally moving on. The only thing keeping us here right now it the final date of our lease.

Our time in Tennessee has been bittersweet. We absolutely loved having so much time with our DIL and grandchildren, and loved being able to help M out with her sometimes crazy schedule. We were able to watch the kids grow and change, share in their successes and many other events, and just generally have a great time all around with them. We also ended up getting to see our son more than we expected as he visited as often as he could. In return, M & M were very generous with us, covering our childcare expenses as well as paying for my two summer trips to Japan. Their time apart however was very difficult for their family and we are thrilled they are now able to be together more frequently. M has one more year to finish at the Nashville Consulate, and will be making twice monthly weekend trips to New Jersey, then will move there to be with her family for good at the beginning of summer next year. The extra year here will put her in a good position to potentially be hired at the Japanese consulate in New York City, or with several other businesses in New York.

Tilly’s first hike in Percy Warner Park – she was the little engine that could that day.
We thought we had come too late for fall color, but it was spectacular during our trip to North Carolina.

During our time in Tennessee, we were able to get together a few times with fellow blogger Tamara and her husband, always a good time. Brett and I also had fun discovering places in Nashville and the surrounding area: Cheekwood Gardens, Parnassus Books, hikes in Percy Warner and Marcella Vivrette Smith parks, a drive down the Natchez Trace, and more. We spent a beautiful fall weekend in western North Carolina, visiting Biltmore in Asheville with all their Christmas finery up, and I finally got to see where Brett’s family came from and where he vacationed when he was young. After a difficult time with the cheap furniture we initially bought (for a two-year stay), we gradually changed over to some better quality pieces that we love and intend to keep. Both of us have read a lot of good books over the years and had fun creating our little book collection. We signed up for and enjoyed good food from Too Good to Go (I’ve already got my Portland favorites loaded!) and made a few trips to McKay’s to look for used books – what a place! We were gifted with tickets for an incredible taiko drum show and a very funny traditional Japanese comedy show by the Japanese Consulate. I worked at our local Trader Joe’s for nearly a year, the best and most fun job I have ever had, but had to leave when my back gave out from all the heavy lifting. We also celebrated Christmas together with our entire family every year in our (cramped) apartments, but WenYu has picked up the torch for future holiday gatherings at her (big) house in Massachusetts. I tried Nashville hot chicken, which was not for me, but loved finding good biscuits and gravy and having a meat & three now and again. We never made it to the Parthenon, or the Grand Old Opry at the Ryman Auditorium or the Country Music Hall of Fame, but neither of us is a fan of country music so we’re okay with that. We did stop at a Buccee’s once in west Tennessee to use the bathrooms, but once was enough. We also never went to Dollywood – our amusement park days are over – although we heard it was very nice and the food was good.

Mr. Guy and Mrs. Chuffington plotting their next scheme.

Our two wonderful little dogs, Kaipo and Tilly, joined us during our time here, joyous occasions both times. They have changed everything in the best ways, and we can’t image our life without them.

Tennessee is a very beautiful state. We visited many parts of it during our time here and have been amazed and impressed by the natural beauty that abounds, and with the history of the state as well, especially the Civil War years. Top of our list is Smoky Mountains National Park, but we also enjoyed being able to spend a day at the Shiloh battlefield to take in the history there. We’ve visited almost all the Civil War sights in Franklin, been west to Memphis (where we were married), visited Hot Springs, Mammoth Caves, and Shenandoah national parks, and took a waterfall tour in the eastern part of the state. We quickly grew tired however of visiting former plantation homes (they’re all over the place here) and there are so many roadside historical signs that we eventually gave up trying to read them all.

We always walked by this mysterious green lamp at our first apartment complex – no one there seemed to know the reason why it was there.

We have spent all four of our Tennessee years in Franklin, in Williamson County, just south of Nashville. We enjoyed drives through some of the countryside but mostly the overall landscape of the area just never did much for us – it’s rural but is filled with lots of mostly giant houses and housing developments. I realized during our time here how much I missed having green around all the time, whether that was the fir trees of the Pacific Northwest or the tropical landscape of Hawaii. Deciduous trees just didn’t do much for me, even the big, old ones, although they were beautiful when the colors changed. When the leaves all fell off though I got depressed. Autumn color here has been hit or miss each year (although we definitely hit it right when we went to North Carolina), and we enjoyed hunting for hedge apples/Osage oranges to put out in the apartment each fall. We walked regularly at our first apartment because it had a great path and was surrounded by old forest, pine trees, and plenty of wildlife which kept it interesting. Walking at our current location has been the opposite: there are not a lot of trees around, or at least nothing but recent plantings – forests in the area have been cut down and the land flattened for the many housing developments, business parks, strip malls, hotels, and apartment buildings that keep popping up everywhere.

We’ve never lived in any place like the franchise paradise that exists here in Franklin and Brentwood, where every brand of hotel/motel is available within a five-mile radius along with every brand of chain restaurant or store. After four years I can still get easily lost because everything looks the same to me, and I can’t figure out east from west, or north from south (so grateful Brett has an incredible sense of direction and that our car has GPS). The county is full of absolutely massive homes and apartment complexes, which include the two we’ve lived in. Driving by many of the houses in the area, I have often wondered, who are these people that need so much space? The churches have also been mind-boggling for me. Most have absolutely HUGE sanctuaries for hundreds and hundreds of people, and there are several intersections with a church on each corner with each having a massive parking lot and attached school/academy. Williamson is the wealthiest county in Tennessee, and has the best public schools in the state (which is why our DIL wanted to live here), but we have paid more to live here, especially through the local sales tax which is nearly 10%. Tennessee may have no state income tax, but as we discovered, a whole lot of other ways to collect money from you.

Politically, Tennessee and Williamson County have been very difficult places for Brett and I to live. I won’t say much about that except that I’ve never lived where the state legislature has done nothing in four years to help anyone in the state except for millionaires/billionaires, fanatic Trump fans, and themselves. Most memorable to me during our time here was the legislature voting to make it legal for teachers to be armed in public schools – YIKES! Thankfully, not one school district in the state took them up on that proposal. August was also traditionally a sales tax-free month for groceries but the legislature voted to take that away this year. They also gave Elon Musk permission to build a tunnel from the state capitol building in downtown Nashville to the airport with only Teslas allowed to be driven in the tunnel. The tunnel idea has since been abandoned, most likely for geological reasons, and no idea where the money went. It’s not that there are no Democrats or liberals in the state or legislature either – there are actually plenty – but the entire state of Tennessee has been gerrymandered to the point that they are unable to ever earn a majority or get anything through the legislature. Our voting district was recently gerrymandered to contain half of Memphis – the district now stretches from the southwest corner to our county in central Tennessee, covering a distance of nearly 300 miles! All this has been depressing to say the least. We have looked for the good while we’ve been here and found it now and again, but more often than not the good has been overwhelmed by the not-so-good and the downright bad.

I have also been in constant battle with Tennessee weather since the day we arrived. Summers are miserably hot and humid (my nemesis), winters cold and dreary, and spring and fall only seem to last a couple of weeks in between. And then there have been the allergens. I have never suffered from hay fever until we arrived here but suffer here I have, and in a big way. I ended up just avoiding going outside as much as possible. I will not miss the climate here in any shape or form.

Brett and I left Tennessee the first time back in November of 1979 when Brett finished instructor duty at NAS Memphis (in Millington, just north of Memphis). As we headed west to our next duty station and crossed the Mississippi River we vowed to never return – we had had our fill of Tennessee.

But we came back, for a very good reason this time, and have no regrets about doing that. We are saying goodbye to Tennessee once again but we mean it this time when we say we’re not coming back. It’s just not for us.

P.S. The state of Tennessee may not be for us, but it gave us all the best: Dolly Parton. May she rest in peace, on her bed of soft cotton.

Good Change

Posted on by Laura & Brett

Change, no matter how welcome, can feel impossible, especially if you’re older. However, in the last few months I have experienced five significant changes, both mental and physical. None of them were planned or expected, although a couple of them had been hoped for or works in progress. They all either just arrived unannounced or happened gradually over time without my noticing right away. The best part? All of them are for the good.

  • I eat less without trying. Some days I manage on just 1,000 calories, but usually I take in anywhere from 1,200 to 1,500 calories a day. Less than 10 years ago getting my daily calorie total down to this level was an absolute struggle but it just sort of gradually happened this time. I’m still working on getting more protein into my intake but that’s coming along. I honestly rarely think about my weight these days as well; my body is what it is and my clothes fit just fine.
  • I stopped drinking coffee. This has been the most surprising change because I’d enjoyed coffee since I was five years old (!), and my coffee cups were practically enshrined. One day back in May though I finished a morning cup of coffee and out of the blue told Brett I was done with it and wanted to start drinking green tea instead. Since that day I haven’t had or wanted coffee at all and have been thoroughly enjoying two cups of organic green tea every morning instead. I’m sleeping so soundly these days! We’ve already taken our coffee machine to Goodwill; Brett just makes himself a couple of cups a day using a pour through.
  • I stopped drinking alcohol. This was another surprise. In June I told Brett one day to just skip putting the gin in my cocktail – tonic and lime would be enough for me going forward. And it has been. It turns out the ritual of sitting and relaxing in the early evening with a drink is more important than actually having alcohol in it. I think the alcohol over the past year may have been what added to my surprise weight gain (along with a decrease in my activity level).
  • I finally gave up social media. Well, I still look at Instagram once a day, and still post there, but that’s all I use (or want) these days. I gave up Facebook over four years ago and haven’t missed it, and a little over two weeks ago I stopped looking at Threads – cold turkey – because I realized I was addicted to it. It was the first thing I looked at in the morning, I checked in all day long, and then was staying up way, way too late every night with it, fixated on the screen and not wanting to miss anything. When I woke up I went right back to the same effort the next day. I’ve deleted the app, and now get out my Kindle first thing in the morning and read for an hour or so (I had been skipping reading so I could be on Threads). The only thing I miss about it is a friend’s always pithy or funny comments.
  • I lost my desire to spend. This is a place I never thought I would fully arrive at but finally did this past summer. I’m not miserly or in some crazy frugal stage but these days because I do spend, but I think very, very carefully about where the money’s going and I can literally talk myself out of buying anything. After we rented the apartment in Portland I got a bit excited about buying things for it, but those feelings didn’t last long – I want to wait and see what we actually might need. This is a very big change for me, but I’ve really settled in to our simple life these days and we seem to have everything we need.

I’ve tried to understand why all these changes happened. Why now? What caused them, I wonder? Maybe after these past few years either my mind and body were finally ready to shake things up, whether I wanted to or not, but who knows? Maybe I’m just ready to go back to Portland a different person than when we left. All of these changes have been for the better, and I’m feeling better these days too, both physically and mentally, so I’m just going to “join the dance” and appreciate being a different me.

The Next BIG Goal!

Posted on by Laura & Brett
Will it be on the ocean . . .

Brett and I will celebrate our 50th anniversary at the end of March 2029, and we’ve been talking for the last few years about wanting to do something extra special together to celebrate the occasion. We had thought for a while that a luxury train journey across Canada might be the ticket but ultimately decided we wanted to try something we had never done together before as well as visit a new-to-us destination or destinations.

We received a pamphlet from Viking Cruises about a month ago and for some reason, instead of tossing it straight into the recycling bag, both of us flipped through it. I raised the question (sort of as a joke): Is this maybe something we could do? Take a Viking cruise? Are we ready for something like this? We ended up talking about the idea for a while and surprisingly decided it just might be what we were looking for. We looked at all the many cruises Viking offers, both river and ocean, and while several of the ocean cruises appealed to us only a couple of river cruises did.

A cruise would be a first for us: Brett served his time on the water during his naval career and up to now has had no desire to get on another ship for any reason. I took a two-week cruise to Japan from San Francisco when I was 18, and that one trip has been enough for me. Until now we’ve never considered any sort of cruise-related travel.

. . . or a river?

But, it turned out we both feel ready now to try one. We both think Viking will be a good fit for our interests, and that one of their cruises and what it offers will make a worthy big goal for us. After some deliberation we decided Viking’s eight-day Venice, the Adriatic + Greece cruise is the one we’re going to take. We’ve both wanted to visit Venice, and also Greece, and the addition of stops in Croatia and Montenegro are exciting too. We plan to add days on to the front and end of the cruise to spend more time in Athens and Venice.

photo credit: Viking Cruises

Once we decided on the cruise for our anniversary, the decision to rent in Portland versus out at the coast was made for us, and we’re very happy to be returning. Staying in Portland means we’ll be able to save more and still enjoy all the Pacific Northwest has to offer. We’ll also be more easily able to travel back east to see our kids and grandkids every year. The payment schedule for the cruise will give us deadlines to meet, and the cruise adventure will help us to stay focused on being active and healthy.

We plan to use Military Cruise Deals to book the cruise as they offer extra discounts and other benefits with Viking on top of their sale pricing. We are going to book for March or early April of 2028, a full year before our actual 50th anniversary, to start of a year of celebration for 50 wonderful years together. We will be doing other fun and exciting things throughout the year, and will end with a big finish in 2029. Although nothing is settled yet, it looks like our family will gather on Kaua’i where Brett and I will renew our vows on our anniversary. From Hawaii, Brett and I would like to fly to Japan for a last visit before returning to Oregon and getting ourselves ready to move south to California, but we’ll have to see how the money is holding out at that point and if we have the energy to continue on.

We love having a Big Goal again! We are already motivated, excited, committed, and making plans. Once we get settled in Portland we can work on choosing the actual dates for the cruise and such. For now our focus will remain on our move to Portland and getting settled there.

P.S. If you’ve ever taken a Viking cruise, ocean or river, we’d love to hear your thoughts!

Goodbye July, Hello August!

Posted on by Laura & Brett

ONE MORE MONTH TO GO!!

Our current apartment lease ends on Labor Day, but we’re picking up a rental car on the second of September, our car leaves for Oregon the next day, and the movers will be here the fourth and the fifth to pack us out. We’ll move over to a nearby hotel with Kaipo and Tilly the afternoon of September 4, and clean the apartment and turn in our mail room key on September 6 (management charges everyone an additional $100 to clean the apartment after a tenant leaves even though we’re all still expected to have it clean for the cleaners. Grrrr.). Anyway, Labor Day will be our last full day in Tennessee and our nonstop flight to Portland leaves the next afternoon!

The dogs are doing well with their carriers and will now more easily go inside to get a treat. Kaipo still somewhat fights it but he seems to have figured out he’s not going to die in there so hopefully transporting the two of them to Portland will go easier. Tilly easily goes into her crate (and Kaipo’s too) – she eats her snack inside now and is ready to redecorate the place.

We’ve rented an apartment in Portland! It’s located in our old neighborhood (that we loved), one of the most walkable in Portland, in a vintage mid-century modern complex located just a couple of blocks away from Trader Joe’s! The neighborhood has a fantastic library branch, plenty of good coffee shops and great restaurants, and a food cart pod in what used to be a bank parking lot when we lived there. We’ll have a bit less floor space than our current apartment and won’t have a dishwasher, washer and dryer (but there are community laundry rooms for the tenants), or other fancy appliances like we do now but the place reminds us a lot of our last apartment in Hawaii that we loved. It has hardwood floors and a beautifully tiled bathroom, and we’ll also have our own little bit of lawn in front as well as some garden space to grow some things. Best of all (for me) is that we can have a grill again! I can’t tell you how much we have missed being able to cook outside these past few years. Overall, we’ll be living more simply than we do here, but in a nice, walkable location that fits our needs.

Our daughter-in-law gave us the boxes and packing material from her move at the beginning of July, so almost every day last month we packed one box and now we’re nearly done – the rest of the stuff in the apartment will be pretty much left for the movers. The apartment is looking bare – there is not much decor out and the few items we didn’t plan to take with us have either been taken to Goodwill or sold. We took all the books over to McKays week before last and got more for them than expected. It felt sad to let them go but I don’t think we’ll have room for them going forward. Moving day, after all this, will hopefully be an easy, relaxed experience for a change.

Our daughter-in-law made us a beautiful little book filled with photos of our time together here. We will see her once more before we leave, but our son, grandson, and sweet granddaughter K are all now up and settled in New Jersey. I get so many feelings when I look through the book and see the changes in all of us over the years. While it’s been difficult at times to be here both Brett and I remain grateful for the time we got to spend with our son’s family, especially after all the years apart while they lived in Japan. We’ll see them again at Christmas, thank goodness.

Last but not least: stay tuned next week to learn why we decided to live in Portland!!

Here’s how we did with our July goals:

  • Get boxes and start packing! Almost done.
  • Make a firm and final decision about whether to sell the books or not. They went to McKays last week.
  • Read at least three more books. Done! I read Yesteryear, Lucy Foley’s The Midnight Feast and John Updike’s The Widows of Eastwick, his last published book. I didn’t enjoy the last book and didn’t finish it, a first for me. I’m back to using my Kindle again. I also read the latest in the Thursday Murder Club series, The Impossible Fortune.

Here are our goals for August:

  • Get Kaipo and Tilly’s health certificates for travel
  • Finish up all the food (throwing away as little as possible)
  • Start cleaning the apartment
  • Pack our suitcases!

Our plan of buying healthy prepared foods went well in July and did not ruin our budget so we did the same this month; in fact, we did better and ended up spending well under our budget for the month. Hmmmm. We got a few pasta dishes, pizzas, fish, macaroni and cheese, Mexican dishes (chili rellenos and burritos), several Asian entrees, chili, chips, & cheese, and everything to make French jamon beurre sandwiches (with gruyere cheese). We bought side dishes, those yummy TJ hash brown patties, and vegetables to go with the main dishes. What we spent also included a few packages of cookies, a cherry-almond Kringle, loads of dog treats, toilet paper, facial serum, two cases of Diet Coke and two lightweight quilted puffer vests I found at Costco! I need to think about this month’s shopping some more because I think we could end up spending a whole lot less every month for food in Oregon than we have been in Tennessee (and there’s zero sales tax in Oregon).

Oregon on Our Minds

Posted on by Laura & Brett

Brett and I have been having fun coming up with all things we want to do once we’re back in Oregon again, both in Portland and the coast. In no particular order:

  • Getting together with old friends
  • Lots of walking with the pups, weather permitting
  • Dim sum on Sunday morning at the Hong Kong Cafe
  • Camping! Instead of buying a tent we intend to use yurts and cabins at the state parks. All we have to get are some sleeping bags.
  • Going to thrift stores and yard sales around town and looking for free piles (I once found a KitchenAid mixer in one!)
  • Walking to a local coffee shop two to three times a week to drink and chat
  • Farmers’ markets! There are so many good ones in Portland.
  • Shopping at WinCo Foods and New Seasons again (as well as Trader Joe’s and Costco)
  • Using our wonderful local (and refreshed!) Multnomah County library branch. I’ve already put some books on hold!
  • Getting back into ‘real’ recycling
  • Checking out and shopping at ethnic markets around town
  • Eating all the Hood strawberries (the absolute BEST strawberries ever) and other berries we can in the summer (well, in 2027 and on)
  • Visiting lots of food carts.
  • Breakfast at the Waffle Window, or a hot dog for lunch from Otto’s in Portland
  • Getting salt water taffy in Manzanita and cheese and ice cream in Tillamook
  • Checking out the new donut shops and ice cream shops around town (but skipping Voodoo Donuts – ugh)
  • Visiting the downtown Portland Muji store, and the Uniqlo store when it opens
  • Picking fruit (peaches and berries especially) on Sauvie Island in the summer
  • Picking wild blackberries and making jam
  • Going to the annual pottery show at the Portland convention center
  • Visiting the Rose Garden, the Japanese Garden, and the Chinese Garden
  • Finding new small eateries and restaurants
  • Spending a night in Timberline Lodge on Mt. Hood (in the summer)

. . . and more!

Language Learning for Adults

Posted on by Laura & Brett

(Updated from a 2018 post on The Occasional Nomads)


I’ve been thinking a lot about this topic lately, especially since I’ve been doing some ESL work again. I’ve also been thinking a lot about going back to studying Japanese again once we’re in Portland (much easier to do there than in Tennessee, that’s for sure). I’ve spent a considerable amount of time (like years) trying to learn Japanese, only to find myself with an ability less than a very young child. Because my professional background is in adult language learning and acquisition you would think I’d have this all figured out by now and would know all sorts of tricks to make learning faster and easier, but sadly, no. I have to admit though that I enjoy and miss the challenge of language learning.

Children pick up new languages easily, at least the spoken part, typically because they are usually far more immersed in a new language than most adults (i.e. in school all day with other native speakers). If children learn a second language before the age of twelve they usually can become fluent speakers with no accent. Although adults learn a language in the same steps as children, how adults process what they are learning is different based on cognitive differences and other previous learning experiences. The reality is it just takes adults longer to acquire a second language. The good news is it’s not impossible.

When adults are learning a second or foreign language, there are three main aspects that come into play: 1) motivation, or the reasons for learning another language; 2) how an adult views themselves as a learner; 3) who an adult sees themselves to be when they speak another language. All three of these are important, but any one of them on their own can have a profound effect on the learning experience. Being aware of these forces and the roles they play can help adults through the process.

Motivation falls into two classes, intrinsic or extrinsic. That is, motivation to learn another language either comes from within or from without. Are you learning a new language because you want to or because you have to or need to? How strong is the desire or need? A combination of both intrinsic and extrinsic reasons for learning is best, and together can provide powerful motivation to push through difficult stretches and improve.

Language learning has often proven to be a sticky problem for adults who have always seen themselves as successful learners or talented in other respects. Recognizing that language learning calls on a whole different set of skills than learning math or history, or participating in a sport or hobby, and that it might not be as easy for you as you thought (or as fun) is an important step in staying motivated and continuing to learn.

Finally, how do you see yourself when you imagine yourself speaking another language? As a native speaker of English, I view myself as a confident, skilled adult when I speak, read, write or listen to English, able to know what to say in almost any situation or figure out what someone else is saying or inferring. With any new language I often find myself with less ability than a child, making lots of (sometimes embarrassing) mistakes, sometimes unable to order in a restaurant or ask directions, let alone manage any other social or professional situations. It’s very humbling, and can also be humiliating at times. One’s self-image when learning a new language can sometimes take some serious blows. Also, there’s the aspect to self of fitting in socially and culturally where the new language is spoken – will you be accepted or always an outside? Knowing that these feelings are perfectly normal can help you stick with your language learning.

Based on my many years of teaching English to adults learners, here are some tips for making language learning more productive and less painful:

  • Communication should be the goal. Not fluency, not perfection, although you can work toward those. Can another person understand what you’re trying to say or write and communicate back to you? That’s what really matters.
  • Know how difficult a language is to learn. Russian or Chinese or Finnish are going to be w-a-y more difficult for an English speaker to learn than Spanish or French. All language learning takes time and effort, but if you want to learn one of the more difficult languages, give yourself even more time. Although the goal may be much less than professional proficiency, the Foreign Language Institute difficulty ranking for English speakers can give a good idea of the time it takes to reach 1) Speaking 3, a General Professional Proficiency in Speaking (S3) and 2) Reading 3: General Professional Proficiency in Reading (R3) in different languages. If you want to be less proficient than professional is will take less time.
  • Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Seriously, mistakes are how we learn, especially in language learning! Think of all the mistakes children make when they’re learning to speak. Adults go through the same steps, and mistakes will happen. The important thing is to keep trying to produce the language in some form rather than shut down. An ideal instructor (or online program) will always model the language correctly for you when you make a mistake and give chances to try again. It’s also important to find a classroom and instructor where you feel safe to make mistakes. My Japanese instructors in college weren’t particularly interested in classroom safety and it was an incredibly stressful and miserable experience. I remember nothing from those classes other than wanting them to end (although I was able to write my Master’s thesis from the experience!).
  • Be prepared to memorize. Memory is a very big part of language learning. We memorize constantly when we learn our own language (I took weekly spelling tests through the eighth grade because much of English spelling and pronunciation is based on memorization, even for native speakers), and it will be true for any other language. It’s more difficult to remember things when we’re older because we’re carrying around and having to deal with so much more information in our brains than we did when we were younger. The best way to remember what you’re learning is to practice. Every day. I listen to this man, ip_native_japanese (ippei), almost every day on Instagram for listening practice and can understand between 25%-80% of what he’s saying depending on where he is and the context.
  • Don’t sweat pronunciation. The ability to speak another language without an accent ends at about age 12. That’s when our mouths and oral muscles “solidify” around our native language. Not worrying about pronunciation doesn’t mean not trying to pronunciate a new language correctly in order to be understood, but sounding like a native speaker doesn’t need to be the goal.
  • Find ways to expose yourself to the language. Learning French in France is going to be a whole lot easier than trying to learn it in the U.S. Why? Because learners are immersed in the language there – it can’t be escaped and has to be dealt with. In your own country, once you’re out of the classroom it’s difficult to find opportunities to practice and use the language you’re learning. Immersion experiences here in the U.S. do exist though. Shop in international markets and read the labels or ask questions in the language you’re learning. Pick up a newspaper or magazine in the new language, go through it and see what can be figured out. Watch foreign films or TV shows in the new language without subtitles. For example, when our girls were learning Chinese, they found that all their favorite Disney Channel shows could be watched online in Mandarin, so they got lots of extra listening comprehension practice from those. Go to a church service where the language you’re learning is spoken (they exist). See if you can set up conversation experiences through local colleges, or hire a tutor and have them provide a weekly immersion session. I was sometimes able to match up my students, if they had time, with an English speaker who was trying to learn their language. They’d spend one hour together in one language, the second hour in the other language.

Knowing another language opens doors for understanding a new and/or different culture, but language learning is a process that takes time, in some cases lots of time. It’s important to remind yourself, especially if you’re struggling or on the fence about sticking with it, that you didn’t learn English (or any other native language) quickly as a child either. Unless necessary for professional reasons, fluency doesn’t need to be the goal of language learning; rather, you should strive to learn enough of a new language to communicate effectively, and as a means to better understand and enhance experiences in a different culture.

Finally, one other interesting side effect of language learning is that you will probably learn more about the English language as well, and what a crazy, difficult, and sometimes impossible thing it is. I thank my stars every day that English is my native language, and that I didn’t have to learn it as a second or foreign language. My years of teaching gave me an immense amount of respect for anyone trying to learn English, a daunting task if there ever was one.

Three Paths

Posted on by Laura & Brett

Do you see a theme here?

We are currently weighing and assessing which of three paths our future will take. Similar in some ways, each has a different ending, and the path we choose will determine how other future ideas and plans will play out. To be honest, we would be happy with any one of them.

  • Path #1: Rent an apartment on the Oregon coast, sell the car soon after we arrive and lease a new car that gets better mileage, and then stay put in Oregon. This plan is dependent on finding a suitable rental in a place we want to stay – Cannon Beach, Manzanita, or Newport.
  • Path #2: Rent an apartment in Portland for a couple of years, but one that is smaller and costs significantly less than we’re paying now. We’ll keep our paid-off car and continue to save, then move south to a city on California’s central coast. My home state has been calling to me and Brett would love to live there.
  • Path #3: Rent in Portland for two years, again living in a nice, but smaller and less expensive rental. We keep our paid-off car and save as much as we can. Then we sell the car, store all our household goods, and move back to Kauai with just what we can carry in our suitcases. We either rent a furnished place there or buy basic household goods and lease a car.

Ending up near the ocean is the main goal. If we can’t find something that suits us out at the coast Path #1 is not going to happen. It is proving difficult anyway as there just aren’t that many apartments out there that would fit us and the ones that would are expensive. On Path #2 we could look forward to living near the ocean on California’s central coast although everything would cost more (and Oregon is pretty expensive today all on its own) and we’d pay more in state taxes. We’ve crunched all the numbers though and it’s doable.

Kauai still holds a strong, special place in our hearts, but the entire effort to move back would take a lot of work and coast the most. Once there we would face finding a rental that would accept our dogs which could take a while. Kauai seems to be (over)crawling with tourists these days and we’re not sure how we might feel about dealing with that. Locals are begging visitors to come but then please go home. This path has us wondering if our presence now would just add to the many problems locals are having to deal with as well as pushing aside another local from the housing market.

Which direction we will choose will become clearer in another couple of weeks but for now all we can do is wait and see how things shake out.

Wanted: a Big Goal

Posted on by Laura & Brett

Brett and I are both goal oriented people. We like to have something to work toward and we’ve achieved a few short term goals while we’ve been in Tennessee. What we’ve missed having these past four years is a Big Goal, like paying off debt or moving our family to Hawaii or saving and planning to travel around the world were. What’s been missing during our time in Tennessee, we recently figured out, was that while we’ve had small goals, we’ve never had or been able to come up with any sort of big adventure that excited us like previous ones have, something that completely focused our thoughts and efforts in order to reach a big payoff.

We’ve sure gone through a lot of ideas about what a big goal might be though. However, after some initial excitement about an idea, nothing ever felt exactly right or grabbed us in a way earlier goals did. Each idea – moving to Mexico, buying a trailer and traveling full time, different locations we could live – was tossed to the side. To be honest, even our return to Oregon was never a grand goal other than we needed a place to go after Tennessee, time was getting short, and Oregon was familiar.

We’ve both been feeling lately like we not only want to have a BIG goal again but that we need one too, something to work toward for the next couple of years, something big to save for, something to plan for. Ideas have come and gone – Should we buy a house or condo somewhere? Move back to Hawaii? Take a big USA road trip? – but maybe is always the answer. Nothing has gotten us excited or ready to commit.

We know we have changed during our time in Tennessee. While we’re healthy and in good shape, we’re older and don’t move as quickly as we did before. We’re less interested in owning stuff. We have two dogs that tie us more to home. All of our children have settled in the northeast, an area we’re happy to visit but don’t want to live in. On the plus side, we have more income now than we did when we arrived. Over and over we ask ourselves, should we accept the limitations and just settle down somewhere? Are people our age still allowed to have big goals? We’ve had a wonderful life and many adventures, but maybe it’s time to limit our imaginations and do something more sensible for a change. But what does sensible mean in this situation?

Oregon was a good fit for us in the past but we know it may not be so this time around. The weather pushed us out once and there’s more than a good chance it will do it again. Should we be proactive, we ask ourselves, and have another plan in place when we arrive that we can work toward for a couple of years? A couple of ideas have raised their heads in the past couple of months, something we could work toward in Portland. Both ideas have stirred us more than others and have gotten both of us to ask again, Can we do this? We’re definitely not at any sort of How do we do this? stage yet, there’s no deep fire in the belly, but we’ve definitely felt some sparks. We can feel things beginning to stir once again even if it’s only knowing we want to have a big goal again.

For now though we’re choosing to remain focused on our upcoming move instead of becoming overly distracted by the future. The ideas we have now may die out and that’s what we’re waiting to see. Will they persist? And then what?

Time will tell . . . .

Goodbye June, Hello July!

Posted on by Laura & Brett

TWO MORE MONTHS!! I felt at times we were never going to get through June, and have a feeling July is going to sort of feel like a slow Thursday, with one more day left in the week to go after we finish. Still, the finish line is getting close!

Brett and I are finally on our own in the apartment complex – no more grandkids to watch, or family nearby. We miss them but the peace and quiet, being able to operate on our own schedule, and lots of no-drive days are frankly wonderful. It does feel empty to be here on our own – I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that our daughter-in-law is not downstairs anymore – but between continuing to get ready for our move, books that need reading, and Kaipo and Tilly we are staying somewhat busy.

Our big project this month will be getting a couple of bundles of moving boxes and getting started on our end of the packing. The movers will be packing all of the kitchenware, including small appliances, and the art work, but we are going to pack everything else on our own. Our goal is to do at least two boxes each day – more if we feel like it – so that it’s done by the time the movers show up. We purchased the dogs their travel crates for the trip. They had to be an exact size specified by the airline, and we ended up having to buy them on Amazon. Neither dog has actually entered one yet, but Tilly is almost there. Kaipo hates small enclosed spaces and getting him into his carrier will be a challenge, right up to the end.

We’re still trying to decide whether we should aim to stay in Oregon, and where, or whether we should maybe choose someplace else with better winter weather for a goal. We’ve firmly decided that although we could buy a home or a condo, we don’t want to be tied to a mortgage again at this point of our lives. Renting has worked out well for us so we’re going to stick with it.

Anyway, here’s how we did with our goals in June:

  • Continue to walk every day and increase our distance a little more. Also, I want to find more ways to add steps throughout the day. Right now I’m getting around 7,500 to 8,000. The heat, humidity, and allergies brought an end to my walking. I just can’t deal with it and it’s only getting worse.
  • Do something special for Brett on Father’s Day. Our DIL gave Brett a gift certificate to Red Lobster so we got a seafood boil there and shared it. It was pretty good! Otherwise he refused to be waited on.
  • Read at least three books. I finished a Louise Penny mystery, The Nature of the Beast, The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead (who rightfully won the Pulitzer, the National Book award, and the Carnegie Medal for it), and State of Terror by Hillary Clinton and Louise Penny. It was a page turner!
  • Finish emptying the pantry and food stockpile. Done! All that’s left are a few unfinished bottles of different things (vinegars, oils, etc.) and some sugar and a little flour. All the CookDo sauces will be moving to Oregon.

Here are our goals for July:

  • Get boxes and start packing!
  • Make a firm and final decision about whether to sell the books or not.
  • Read at least three more books. I’m currently reading Yesteryear and enjoying it, and then have a Lucy Foley’s The Midnight Feast to read as well as John Updike’s The Witches of Eastwick.

There is no menu plan for July. We emptied the pantry in June and didn’t want to buy any more ingredients at this point so we bought already prepared foods for next month, stuff from Costco and Trader Joe’s freezer and deli, spending $435 for a freezer and refrigerator full of meals (and a few extras) we’re looking forward to. Brett and I have successfully been getting more protein into our daily diet along with eating less carbs and we stuck with those guidelines when we chose meals yesterday. We have mostly given up sweets but bought six half gallons of Tillamook ice cream when Krogers had a BOGO sale we stumbled on, and Brett discovered a blueberry custard pie at Costco that had to go into our cart as well. We’ve been pacing ourselves with the ice cream and will do the same with the pie.

Odds and Ends

Posted on by Laura & Brett

Just some stuff that’s too small for a regular post:

  • I have always enjoyed getting together with my readers and we had another wonderful meet up with Tamara (My Retirement Project) and her husband last week. She’s visiting family here from California that live nearby, and this is the third time we’ve been able to get together – in Tennessee of all places. I wish we had had more time because the four of us never run out of things to talk about. Fingers are crossed we’re all able to meet up again when we’re in Oregon.
  • With just a very little over two months left in Tennessee we looking more seriously at potential places to live in Oregon. We’ve been looking at apartments out on the coast but the prices there are mostly too high and the selection very limited. Our favorite place currently has one apartment available though so we’ve got our fingers crossed that we get lucky. We’ve found a few places in Portland that would work for us as well. We know we’ll eventually find somewhere and someplace to live so are not feeling frantic . . . yet.
  • What we’ll do if we can’t handle the winter weather in Oregon is a frequent topic between Brett and me these days because we both know there’s a real possibility the season will drag us down again. Leaving Oregon would be easier than last time, but where is still (and always) the question. It took us nearly four years to settle on Oregon, and we can’t imagine another place will appear any quicker if we have to start looking again.
  • We have less than a year to go on our car loan! We had been thinking about selling it after we arrived in Oregon but now think having a paid off car will be a flex and something we should hold on to. Our 2017 Armada has less than 70,000 miles on it and is in excellent condition, with our model typically running for 200K miles or more. We’ve never been “big car” people but have come to appreciate the size and comfort of it these past few years. The gas mileage it gets is the only downside, but we don’t drive much these days.
  • More items have been sorted, tossed, or taken to Goodwill this past month. We are torn about whether to keep, sell back to McKays, or donate our books (because of their weight), and still haven’t come to a decision – we literally change our minds from day to day. The books are currently sitting in piles on the floor while we work our way through getting all of them read. Things are getting done and getting closer to being ready for the move and our efforts to reduce stress this go-around seem to be working.
  • I had been seriously thinking about ordering meal plan kits (like Hello Fresh) for our last month in the apartment, but realized we’re going to need them next month as well because we’ve done such a great job of using stuff up and don’t want to buy more “ingredients” before we go. I also really don’t want to cook so I think instead we’ll just buy prepared meals/foods from Costco and Trader Joe’s and hopefully not blow up the budget.
  • I’m enjoying my teaching/tutoring job and I picked up another two students this month so that’s helping to keep me a little busier, but not too much. I’m enjoying the mental challenge of lesson planning and teaching again, and the small income I receive is also nice!