Brett and I are both goal oriented people. We like to have something to work toward and we’ve achieved a few short term goals while we’ve been in Tennessee. What we’ve missed having these past four years is a Big Goal, like paying off debt or moving our family to Hawaii or saving and planning to travel around the world were. What’s been missing during our time in Tennessee, we recently figured out, was that while we’ve had small goals, we’ve never had or been able to come up with any sort of big adventure that excited us like previous ones have, something that completely focused our thoughts and efforts in order to reach a big payoff.
We’ve sure gone through a lot of ideas about what a big goal might be though. However, after some initial excitement about an idea, nothing ever felt exactly right or grabbed us in a way earlier goals did. Each idea – moving to Mexico, buying a trailer and traveling full time, different locations we could live – was tossed to the side. To be honest, even our return to Oregon was never a grand goal other than we needed a place to go after Tennessee, time was getting short, and Oregon was familiar.
We’ve both been feeling lately like we not only want to have a BIG goal again but that we need one too, something to work toward for the next couple of years, something big to save for, something to plan for. Ideas have come and gone – Should we buy a house or condo somewhere? Move back to Hawaii? Take a big USA road trip? – but maybe is always the answer. Nothing has gotten us excited or ready to commit.
We know we have changed during our time in Tennessee. While we’re healthy and in good shape, we’re older and don’t move as quickly as we did before. We’re less interested in owning stuff. We have two dogs that tie us more to home. All of our children have settled in the northeast, an area we’re happy to visit but don’t want to live in. On the plus side, we have more income now than we did when we arrived. Over and over we ask ourselves, should we accept the limitations and just settle down somewhere? Are people our age still allowed to have big goals? We’ve had a wonderful life and many adventures, but maybe it’s time to limit our imaginations and do something more sensible for a change. But what does sensible mean in this situation?
Oregon was a good fit for us in the past but we know it may not be so this time around. The weather pushed us out once and there’s more than a good chance it will do it again. Should we be proactive, we ask ourselves, and have another plan in place when we arrive that we can work toward for a couple of years? A couple of ideas have raised their heads in the past couple of months, something we could work toward in Portland. Both ideas have stirred us more than others and have gotten both of us to ask again, Can we do this? We’re definitely not at any sort of How do we do this? stage yet, there’s no deep fire in the belly, but we’ve definitely felt some sparks. We can feel things beginning to stir once again even if it’s only knowing we want to have a big goal again.
For now though we’re choosing to remain focused on our upcoming move instead of becoming overly distracted by the future. The ideas we have now may die out and that’s what we’re waiting to see. Will they persist? And then what?
Time will tell . . . .
That’s the beauty of being older. You can change your mind when something “better” comes up. You are never too old for big dreams. Do it while you can. You’re older but still can achieve your dreams. And if it doesn’t feel right, there’s nothing wrong with changing your mind.
We sure have changed our minds a lot here – nothing seemed to stick and it has been very frustrating. A new idea has recently come bubbling to the surface – it has a lot of potential as a big goal but no commitment yet. It’s something we never considered doing before but now feels rather exciting! More later . . . .
I understand. I totally retired from my job and opened my private practice but I may go left or right to other opportunities that have suddenly come up. One opportunity involves a move and one does not or I can just stay on track. We shall see. It is probably the same with you. When you get to Oregon and see how you do as winter approaches I think that might be a turning point but who knows? There is not a right or wrong answer in life I think and if you don’t like one place you can go find another
one because you are very resourceful. I know folks talk about the fork in the road but sometimes there are many forks and you just have to pick one and see. I think you have a great ability to adapt if Oregon doesn’t totally suit you this time. I could also see y’all doing a hybrid situation because you seem to like it there in the summer/fall. It is exciting anyways to see how it plays out! I am
sure it will be splendid, as my momma used to say!!!
First, congratulations on your retirement and the opening of your private practice! You have earned this and I send loads of good wishes for the future.
We are starting to feel excited about being in Oregon again and know that we’ll end up in the right place there for the right reasons. We’re going to give it another chance because there really are so many things we have missed about living there, but we remind ourselves that it still might not work out and there are other places we can go. Oregon will be a good place to “sit” for awhile though.
I’ve always been goal driven, too, and I understand that feeling. I think it might be what is driving my constant real estate perusal and discussion of moving closer back into the city. But I also find that I’m not as ambitious as I was when I was younger. Long distance care for my mom is taking up some energy, and I have committed to taking off a few pounds to see if I can improve my aching bones. 🙂
We gave up pretty quickly on the idea of buying real estate because we felt it just didn’t make sense for us at this point in our lives. Renting has worked out for us, but boy it is not easy to find places these days! We are currently in the looking stage and so many places are too small, or don’t take dogs, or take only one dog, or something. We are confident though that eventually the right place will show up in the right location.
I would like to help out my aching bones too but have given up making any sort of achievement here toward that goal.
I’m a big goal oriented person, so I can relate to this. Is there a combo trip/physical challenge that would be worthwhile, achievable, affordable but enjoyable for you at this phase? We recently did Milford Track, and I’d say that’s probably too physical, but what about a trip to somewhere with absolutely gorgeous views, and tag on some sort of physical (yet appropriate with training) hiking that you would enjoy. If you haven’t been to New Zealand, it’s absolutely stunning & we are already thinking of how to get back. Again, insanely expensive, but earn enough United miles to fly Polaris business class, fly from PDX to SFO, and the flight is directly from SFO to Christchurch… It would be a fun challenge to afford & train for?
Or, figure out a housing situation that allowed you to be whatever the PDX/rain version of a snowbird is?
Worthwhile, achievable, and affordable are what we are striving for with this goal. We’re still in pretty good shape and able to walk distances, but we get tired a bit more easily. Brett also dreads long plane flights so that is factoring into our goal setting as well. We have a a couple of ideas starting to bubble now – both are doable and interesting, so we are just going to have to wait and see if one of them reaches up and really grabs us. Maybe something else will pop up though – who knows? We’re both just happy that we’re on the same page when it comes to setting a future big goal.
We LOVED New Zealand, but only spent time on the North Island. One of these days we hope to get back to see the South Island . . . fingers crossed. That would be a worthy goal for us, for sure.
I don’t think age has much to do with it. As long as you’re healthy and have the interest in the new goal and are able to afford it, age shouldn’t limit you. I know someone who is 87 who volunteers five days a week in a kitchen and runs circles around the younger people, so it’s all relative and depends on your personal circumstances. I can’t wait to find out what your new potential Big Goal is!
As far as Oregon, since you’ll be renting, you can leave at any time if you find it’s not working out. Or you could do a snowbird type of arrangement.
What age has to do with our goal setting is knowing that at our ages things can happen to our health and happen quickly. We take good care of ourselves and with a new goal will be watching out even more. There are still a lot of younger people I could probably run rings around, but not as many as before. Brett’s in better shape than I am too!
Hawaii Planner brought up a potential snowbird situation as well. We haven’t really thought about it but it does have potential. But maybe we’ll be fine in Oregon this time, especially after four years in Tennessee – who knows?