Change, no matter how welcome, can feel impossible, especially if you’re older. However, in the last few months I have experienced five significant changes, both mental and physical. None of them were planned or expected, although a couple of them had been hoped for or works in progress. They all either just arrived unannounced or happened gradually over time without my noticing right away. The best part? All of them are for the good.
- I eat less without trying. Some days I manage on just 1,000 calories, but usually I take in anywhere from 1,200 to 1,500 calories a day. Less than 10 years ago getting my daily calorie total down to this level was an absolute struggle but it just sort of gradually happened this time. I’m still working on getting more protein into my intake but that’s coming along. I honestly rarely think about my weight these days as well; my body is what it is and my clothes fit just fine.
- I stopped drinking coffee. This has been the most surprising change because I’d enjoyed coffee since I was five years old (!), and my coffee cups were practically enshrined. One day back in May though I finished a morning cup of coffee and out of the blue told Brett I was done with it and wanted to start drinking green tea instead. Since that day I haven’t had or wanted coffee at all and have been thoroughly enjoying two cups of organic green tea every morning instead. I’m sleeping so soundly these days! We’ve already taken our coffee machine to Goodwill; Brett just makes himself a couple of cups a day using a pour through.
- I stopped drinking alcohol. This was another surprise. In June I told Brett one day to just skip putting the gin in my cocktail – tonic and lime would be enough for me going forward. And it has been. It turns out the ritual of sitting and relaxing in the early evening with a drink is more important than actually having alcohol in it. I think the alcohol over the past year may have been what added to my surprise weight gain (along with a decrease in my activity level).
- I finally gave up social media. Well, I still look at Instagram once a day, and still post there, but that’s all I use (or want) these days. I gave up Facebook over four years ago and haven’t missed it, and a little over two weeks ago I stopped looking at Threads – cold turkey – because I realized I was addicted to it. It was the first thing I looked at in the morning, I checked in all day long, and then was staying up way, way too late every night with it, fixated on the screen and not wanting to miss anything. When I woke up I went right back to the same effort the next day. I’ve deleted the app, and now get out my Kindle first thing in the morning and read for an hour or so (I had been skipping reading so I could be on Threads). The only thing I miss about it is a friend’s always pithy or funny comments.
- I lost my desire to spend. This is a place I never thought I would fully arrive at but finally did this past summer. I’m not miserly or in some crazy frugal stage but these days because I do spend, but I think very, very carefully about where the money’s going and I can literally talk myself out of buying anything. After we rented the apartment in Portland I got a bit excited about buying things for it, but those feelings didn’t last long – I want to wait and see what we actually might need. This is a very big change for me, but I’ve really settled in to our simple life these days and we seem to have everything we need.
I’ve tried to understand why all these changes happened. Why now? What caused them, I wonder? Maybe after these past few years either my mind and body were finally ready to shake things up, whether I wanted to or not, but who knows? Maybe I’m just ready to go back to Portland a different person than when we left. All of these changes have been for the better, and I’m feeling better these days too, both physically and mentally, so I’m just going to “join the dance” and appreciate being a different me.
Those are big changes, and all positive! I don’t think I could give up coffee (or maybe, more honestly, would want to), as I find myself with a headache by 10am on days when I have a doctor’s appointment for which I need to fast for blood tests or the like. Does the green tea give you some caffeine to wake up? 😉
I’ve decided I eat some days from boredom and others from anxiety. But overall, my weight stays about the same (give or take 2-3 pounds). As I like to say, I’d love to lose 10 lbs, but obviously not enough to do what that would entail. There is a birthday cake in my fridge calling my name as I type. lol.
I applaud your exit from social media. I have cut back considerably, but I am still kinda hooked on Threads. I find myself looking at it a few times per day, but nowhere near what I used to. I do follow a couple of people who report things the MSM won’t touch. But frankly, all the socials lose their appeal to me over time as they become more “Zuckerberg-ed”. He has really ruined a lot of things. If you want a disturbing but good read that explains his strategy, check out Careless People by Sarah Wynn-Williams. It is hair-curling. 🙁
No one was more surprised than I was about letting the coffee go. The next day I was so worried I would go through withdrawal, with the horrific headaches, but two cups of tea apparently gave/gives me enough caffeine because I have suffered no withdrawal symptoms at all. I have also never wanted coffee since then, and right now can’t imagine drinking it again. Weird, but it’s working for me, right now anyway.
Threads still sends little push notices but so far I haven’t bitten. I do miss it at times though . . . .
Thanks for the book recommendation- I’ve put it on hold.
The thing about threads is that I often go there to find out the news that is not being reported by regular outlets. I am addicted. I tried giving it up but oh well……I still love Instagram for my artwork. Facebook is horrible really. I don’t even see anyone I know on there any longer.
I think that’s what I miss most about Threads, the news that either not being reported or reported with just the briefest of notices. So far so good though without it. Brett uses Bluesky (he tries to use anything Zuckerberg connected) and he keeps me up-to-date as much as possible so I can stay away from Threads. I would completely quit Facebook except our family uses Messenger – it worked well for us when we traveled and so we’ve all kept it.
Congrats for staying off social media and cutting back on coffee. I manage social media at my job so I can’t stay off it completely, but I do stay off it in my personal life. I’ve never been on Threads and the only account I have is Facebook, but I don’t use my real name and am only connected to a few friends I went to school with. I use a blocker so I only see content from those friends and not ads or anything else. If I had to look at ads, I would have left long ago. I put the book Laurel mentioned on hold at the library. Looks like an interesting read. I have never liked coffee or alcohol so that’s not an issue for me, but chocolate is something I do have issues with and have been able to cut down considerably.
I think we all get to a point where we lose interest in things, even if it was something (or even a person) that was a part of our lives for a long time, especially if it was something unhealthy. We may not have realized it was unhealthy at the time or how much time we were spending on it, but when we realize it, it’s a good thing to move on.
You’re probably a different person than you were when you left Portland and moved to Hawaii. That must have been around 10 years ago? That was around the time I started following your blog. You’ve had so many interesting experiences since then and I am curious to find out how you find Portland now. Will you still like it as much as you did when you lived there? Has anything about it changed that will make you like it more or less? We’ll see!
I admit to loving social media, but it’s been difficult for me because I have a somewhat addictive personality, and social media fits right in with that. I never missed Facebook though, but got hooked on Twitter before EM got his hands on it. Quit then but but Threads has proven to be even more addicting. Part of the problem has been living here in Tennessee – we’ve really been socially isolated and social media has filled that hole for us. We’ll be busier in Portland.
I remember my grandmother and mother cutting back on the amounts they ate as they aged, so it really shouldn’t have been such a surprise that I would too. Coffee though was a genuine surprise – I thought I would miss it but I never have, at least so far. Portland has a deep coffee culture, and I may get back into it there – time will tell, but I am enjoying the green tea now.
I I’m a very different person now than I was when we left Portland 12 years ago, but honestly wonder if some of these changes came about once we firmly decided on Portland as our destination. I know though too that our experiences over the years have caused change, especially these past four years where I’ve had abundant time to both think about things and let change happen. I’m definitely far less stubborn than I used to be!
Just found your place here. Newly retired. Thread – do not have it. Why is it so addicting? Green Tea and coffee, decaf for both for last 20 years. I LOVE the taste of coffee so have been fantasizing about going back to it.
Welcome – I’m very glad you found me here and hope you’ll be back for more!
Threads was/is interesting and addictive because, for me, it’s seems like a gentler social media than others. I’m sure it’s there, but there’s very little name calling and such. Not sure if that makes sense, but it’s not just politics that’s discussed (although there’s plenty of that) but also threads on what’s going on in people’s lives in different places, family stories, recipes, etc. Everything is in short form too, for the most part, so easy and fun to read. And addictive to someone like me, so I had to let it go.
I think the reason the change over to green tea was easy for me, and that I didn’t suffer from the usual awful caffeine withdrawal was that Brett made our coffee half-caffeinated. So, the switch was easier. I still dream about having an espresso now and again, but the desire for a cup of coffee seems to be gone for good. I do wonder if I’ll want coffee again though when we’re back in Portland. There’s a highly-rated little coffee place less than block away from our apartment that we love to make “our place” and I might feel like having coffee again there. We’ll see.
I love instagram and look at it several times a day, but never for more than five or ten minutes at a time. Usually when I’m waiting for an appointment or have a few minutes before I need to leave the house. But, Instagram started putting Threads posts on my feed, almost all of it political. I grew up in Washington DC, and am a political animal and a big follower of all things politics. But after a few months, I had to completely stop looking at anything on Threads Everything I saw made me furious! I can read the same topics in The New York Times or The Washington Post daily and stay calm, but the things I saw on Threads made me so angry It just ruined my day and the day of everyone around me! I guess the major newspapers break the bad news a little more gently. It interesting that you have lost interest in shopping. The same is true for me. I think it’s ironic that now that the children are grown and flown and I have some extra money to spend I don’t want to buy anything.
I so agree with you about Threads making me angry! That was part of the addiction (people were angry about the right stuff!) but I also hated how I felt. I looked at Threads again a couple of days ago and just happened on a post about the student loan problem – it’s the one subject I feel compelled to answer, so I did because so many people still don’t get what’s going on – but then I got right off the platform and haven’t been back. Again, because it makes me feel angry and there’s enough around to feel angry about without having to look at Threads!
Living in apartment has, I believe, been the biggest catalyst for my not wanting to shop any more – and with the two of us and two dogs there’s no room for “extras.” I also detest clutter, and the combination of that with a lack of space killed my shopping desire. I get notices on Instagram from my favorite clothing sources (Quince and Muji) and recently bought four tops for this coming fall/winter on sale from Muji – I realized all I had were short-sleeved shirts and t-shirts which won’t make it in Portland’s winter. But usually I just look and sigh at the clothes. Groceries are my next frontier. We’re discovering that a lot of things we used to enjoy having we just don’t any more. I have been working on a shopping list for Portland and it’s very different from what I bought here. Thank goodness there are farmers’ markets in Portland – I’m terrified of buying produce in stores now.