Author: Laura & Brett

Finding fulfillment, satisfaction, and positivity in daily living.

Westward Ho

Posted on by Laura & Brett
photo credit: pexels

First, an aside: I greatly disliked the theme I initially chose for this blog – so glaring – and decided to go back to my old one but with a new photo. Hopefully it’s a bit more soothing. Anyway . . .

With just five months left in Tennessee we finally know where we’re going next. And, surprise, surprise, it turned out to be somewhere other than the three choices we thought we had decided on (if nothing else we stay on brand). Meiling said she’s fully prepared for us to change our minds a couple more times before we go but Brett and I are done and happy about it.

The number one factor driving this decision was financial. If Brett predeceases me, I will have to survive on just slightly over one-third of our current income. So, the major question guiding our choice was: can I afford to live (someplace) on that lower income?

San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, started out as our top choice. While the not too distantly past cartel violence in Mexico wasn’t a deep deterrence, we figured out we didn’t feel comfortable being those expats that move to SMA to enjoy the restaurants and lifestyle without being able to speak Spanish and with only surface knowledge of Mexican culture. We also weren’t crazy about the number of expats already living there and that arrive every winter. We planned to take language lessons once there but knew competency in the language would be an extremely difficult endeavor for both of us and we would never be fluent or completely comfortable in Spanish. I could afford to live in Mexico on my own if something happened to Brett, but don’t think I would want to. We eventually decided Mexico would not be ideal as a full-time, long-term residence. We still plan to visit again though.

California was in second place on the list and we investigated several southern California locations and a couple in northern California we thought might work for us. In the end though economics won out as we figured out living affordably and comfortably in California meant potentially having to downsize our living space and/or lower our standard of living a bit. More importantly, remaining there on my own would be too expensive, and maybe too expensive even for Brett on his own too. So California very sadly became a big NO.

That left Tucson. As we crunched the numbers and looked at housing, taxes, and other costs, we realized we could live there very nicely, in a large apartment or even a house, and still have a good bit of income left over every month, similar to what we would have in San Miguel de Allende. We would not have to lower our standard of living, and either one of us could stay if something happened to the other. However, neither of us felt any real enthusiasm for moving there and knew that would become a problem, probably sooner rather than later.

At this point we debated once again going back to Hawaii. We figured out how much that would actually cost, discussed how difficult the move would be, and debated for several days whether it would be worth it for our sanity if nothing else. We also looked at islands other than Kaua’i. In the end we knew the expense of moving Kaipo and Tilly as well as our household goods, and the reality of finding a place to live that would accept our dogs, was more than we wanted to take on. We could do it, but it would take a LOT of effort and wipe out much of the financial gains we have made these past couple of years. And for all that I could not afford to stay there if something happened to Brett so we said a firm and final no to going back to Hawaii.

Frustrated, unhappy, and back at square one once again, we asked each other what was the ONE THING we wanted in a location and we both had the same answer: to live near the ocean. On that point we were united and we let it take us to a decision.

Although we don’t know exactly where we’ll end up, we will be heading west to Oregon in September and will spend up to a couple of weeks looking for a place to live on the Oregon coast. We feel more enthusiastic and right about it unlike any of the previous locations we’ve considered. Seriously, we cannot find a flaw, including the weather (there is more sunshine on the coast than in Portland). I can continue to live there if something happens to Brett, we can get back east to see the kids, the seafood is superb, and getting to Portland and back can be a day trip. We know we can tolerate those gloomy winter days if there is a beach nearby to walk on or the ocean to look at.

And if we don’t find somewhere suitable to live on the coast (housing is very limited)? We’ll stay in Portland. We know it well, and we know how to get to the coast from there.

So, planning is going forward and in September, westward ho we go!

Goodbye March, Hello April

Posted on by Laura & Brett

March was a lovely month and went by quickly. Our son was here quite a bit and we celebrated our 47th anniversary this past weekend.

Happy anniversary to us! The much-wanted books were a gift from our son and DIL.

Here’s how we did with out goals last month:

  • Set up a spreadsheet to evaluate where to go next. We used the spreadsheet, evaluated our choices, and made a (somewhat surprising) decision – all will be revealed next week!
  • Spend $300 or less on food for the month (if possible). We spent $360 in March – a bit frustrating but prices had gone up on several items and we splurged on a couple of extras (like a whole Chantilly cake).
  • Buy some new pajamas. Thanks to my friend I now have two pairs of my favorite organic cotton pajamas! I love the patterns she sent and am so grateful for them.
  • Read two books. I read three books, one by Lucy Foley and two by Louise Penny.

Also accomplished in March: I got my final spousal military ID card. Because I’m now over 70 the card is marked indefinite and will no longer expire. The whole process was all done online too instead of us having to make the drive up to Ft. Campbell in Kentucky. Anyway, one last thing to worry about going forward!

I have four small goals for April:

  • Celebrate Brett’s 76th birthday. It took me all last month to figure out what to give him. He should love it though because it’s practical. I’ll also bake him a cake.
  • Keep food spending at $300. We have to do better this month.
  • Get some new glasses. My distance vision is still 20/20 but I need a stronger prescription for close up stuff (i.e. reading, phone, etc.)
  • Read two or three more books.

Here are the meals that will be in weekly rotation this month:

  • Cook Do pork stir fry
  • Macaroni & cheese
  • Chicken tikka masala
  • Naan pizzas (barbecue chicken or pepperoni)
  • California roll salad or panzanella with beans
  • Hot turkey sandwiches or tuna melts
  • Breakfast for dinner

This menu is going to use up a lot of stuff but we still have a lot more to go too. Brett always fixes the breakfast-for-dinner meal which gives me a break.

Anyway, fingers crossed for all of us for a great month in April!

The 6th Annual Day of No Cooking

Posted on by Laura & Brett

It’s that time of the year again! Brett and I will celebrate our 47th anniversary this weekend, and once again we’ll be letting someone else fix us brunch and dinner on Saturday (we don’t really eat lunch these days). As always though, the only things that will be made at home will be coffee in the morning, and a cocktail in the evening.

Since this is the last time for us to do this event in Tennessee, we’ve decided to focus on Southern-style cooking.

We’ve chosen Meridee’s Breadbasket in downtown Franklin for our brunch location. We’ve bought pastries from the bakery before, but there’s a nice restaurant that offers my favorite breakfast: eggs Benedict with country ham. They also offer several French toast selections that should interest Brett.

We were supposed to eat dinner at Tupelo Honey last year but it was so crowded and the wait so long we ended up sharing a banana split from the ice cream shop across the street instead! We know this year to come prepared and Brett’s already made our reservation. Fingers crossed we’ll finally get to have the fried chicken and waffles we’ve been craving.

The Day of No Cooking is still one of the best, if not the best, idea we have come up with for celebrating our anniversary. We’re looking forward to a lovely, relaxed day of good food and reminiscing without any work or dirty dishes. It’s the perfect way to honor our years together.

Use It Up

Posted on by Laura & Brett

Brett and I have started the process of using up food items that have been hanging out in our pantry as well as many of Japanese ingredients I brought back from Tokyo last summer.

We have five and a half months remaining to use everything up. That feels like plenty of time, but experience has taught me we may end up cutting it closer than we’d like.

Some things I made this month and what they used up: the gingerbread used up molasses; Chinese 3-color salad used up rice noodles; fluffy pancakes finished a box of Japanese pancake mix; and pasta with Alfredo sauce & ham used up a jar of Alfredo sauce and some leftover ham. I also made a loaf of apricot nut bread with the last of some dried apricots, coconut flakes, and walnuts.

Things like pasta and sauces will be easy to use, but five cans of tuna? For some that might be easy, but for us . . . not so much. Twenty packages of CookDo sauces . . . we might get through half to two-thirds of those but thankfully they’re light and travel well. Bread and eggs . . a piece of cake. But four boxes of pancake mix? I don’t know. , , , ,

The key, I think, is going to be narrowing our monthly food budget even more between now and when we move out of the apartment and concentrating more instead on using what we already have. Time seems to finally be picking up speed, and this small dilemma of emptying our pantry and fridge is one more thing that will hopefully make our remaining time go more quickly. Other tasks will soon be popping up, so this is one thing I want to have a good handle on before everything else starts getting crazy.

Good Things Continue to Happen

Posted on by Laura & Brett

photo credit: unsplash/Jess Bailey

These days it feels at times like we’re all being made to sit through a horror film we not only never wanted to see, but one we can’t believe anyone ever imagined or wanted to make. There is real evil in the air and yet nothing seems to happen to the perpetrators.

I could keep lists of and dwell on all the horrible things going on, but I try to think more about the good things that continue to happen in my life. They usually come in small doses but they do keep coming, and I try to take note of them every day. Instead of the bad, awful, and horrific, I keep a mental list of the good things going on around us or to us, to remind myself that not everything is a negative.

Here are some of the good things that have happened to us recently:

  • We received a tax refund this year, the first since 2017. We used to file right before the deadline in April, but this year we filed in early February and our refund was in the bank in a week.
  • YaYu passed her mental health therapist licensing exam on the first try! She will graduate in May and hang her shingle.
  • We changed all our billing due dates in January so that everything arrives at the same time as our social security payments. I have no idea why we didn’t do this earlier, but we’re finding bigger chunks of $$$ to move into our savings accounts.
  • I lost my beloved silver Hawaii bracelet late last year somewhere in the apartment. Brett and I searched for it for a few days, but never could find it. But in my heart I felt it would just show up one day, and it did last month, no worse for the wear! It had apparently fallen off in our closet and had been hiding in a back corner.
  • I got a wonderful surprise in the mail today: a dear friend sent me two pairs of my favorite pajamas! To say I’m beyond grateful would be a gross understatement, especially since I was struggling to find anything else.
  • I purchased a new sundress I found on sale at J. Jill with an additional 30% off the already great sale price. We’re very close to a decision about where we’re going next but a linen sundress will be appropriate clothing at any of the three locations.
  • Brett and I are in a comfortable rut these days. We have schedules to keep, but we’re sleeping well, eating well, and things that need to be done are getting done.

While things feel bleak at times, or occasionally frustrating beyond measure, I know that bad times don’t last forever, just like good times don’t last forever either. I encourage you to take the time to find and recognize the good things that continue to happen in your life, the little moments that bring you joy, and give them their due. It’s good daily medicine.

Some Goals For March

Posted on by Laura & Brett

photo credit: pixels

I am trying hard not to push myself this year like I have in the past, and less is more has become my mantra. Still, I like to have a few goals lined up each month, and this year I want them to mostly be things that will move us forward in our remaining six months in Tennessee. The goal is to get out of here with as little stress and as much money as possible.

One of the goals this month is a big one, the others are small:

  • Set up a spreadsheet to evaluate where to go next. We have narrowed future locations down to three (Tucson, SoCal, or Mexico), but Brett and I need to get into the weeds of what will best suit us and our future. Vibes are just not going to cut it – we need to evaluate the realities and make the best decision possible.
  • Spend $300 or less on food for the month (if possible). We are enjoying the new menu plan, and the repetition is making it easier to create a shopping list as well as use up what we have on hand. With prices continuing to rise though even the smaller amount we buy now is right at the $300 barrier.
  • Buy some new pajamas. My favorites are organic cotton Asian wrap pajamas from Garnet Hill because they’re super comfortable, cute, and a pair lasts around three years. However, they’re also expensive. Costco currently is selling two pairs of GAP cotton pajama pants for $16, and with a couple of t-shirts I already have on hand I would be set at a much lower cost.
  • Read two books. My desire to read comes and goes but I think I can finish two books this month. They’ll probably be mysteries because that’s all that seems to catch my attention for now.

Just four things to accomplish in March, and nothing too demanding, I think. The first one is the big one and will take the most time, but I’ve got my fingers crossed we can get it done.

We Just Have To Choose

Posted on by Laura & Brett

photo credit: Unsplash/Markus Winkler

With just six months left to go in Tennessee, we have come up with three solid locations that would cover everything we want going forward: bountiful sunshine and no humidity, a cost of living that doesn’t stretch our income, and some opportunities for adventure.

We told our children at Christmas we were not going to relocate back east and why. They were, as expected, disappointed but also understanding of our needs and wants. They know us.

All roads point west for us, the southwest in particular. Tucson is getting a closer look once again. The city has everything we are looking for except for those brutally hot summers. But, there are nice houses and condos in our price range – we could actually buy a home there if we wanted (we don’t). The state of Arizona has lots of beautiful places to check out and New Mexico, Utah, and California are nearby for exploration as well.

Southern California is calling to us as well, and we are currently researching two different locations there. The cost of living in many areas in the state is far higher than we want to deal with but we have found some affordable places. The Coachella Valley (Palm Springs area) looks like it might be a good fit, for example, but it also has those brutal summers. There’s another a place nearer to the ocean that also looks promising. Both places offer 55+ living.

Finally, we have been looking again at the pros and cons of moving to Mexico. The income requirements for resident visas have increased quite a bit since we were there four years ago to the point we’ve wondered at times if we’d even be eligible, but apparently we still qualify. We loved our time in San Miguel de Allende, and know it would be a comfortable and affordable place to live year round. However, Mexico is shaky right now and has both of us nervous about a move there.

Whichever location we ultimately choose we plan to visit family back east in December every year and when babies arrive, and if we end up in Tucson or Palm Springs we would leave during the worst of the summer heat for three or so months in Mexico. The summer months in San Miguel de Allende are quite temperate, warm but not overly hot (May is actually the hottest month) and since it’s “off season” it’s not too crowded.

All three locations have a dry climate along with a cost of living we can afford, and would allow us to enjoy a little bit of travel every year (as long as the U.S. economy remain intact). We’re not signing off on anything yet and know better than to say anything is a done deal for now. But we’ve narrowed our options down and are happy with all of them.

Now we just have to choose.

Pictures Worth a Thousand Words

Posted on by Laura & Brett

I take a lot of pictures, probably at least one every couple of days, if not every day some weeks. I take pictures to preserve a moment, a memory, something funny or cute, or something I might want to include in a blog post or share on Instagram.

Of course, not all pictures I take are worthy of keeping. I’ve gotten pretty good at going through my photos every two or three days and deleting ones that really aren’t very good. I tell myself I could have done better, or ask myself with if this image is something I truly want to remember, and why. I go over with myself why a particular photo is worth keeping and from there sometime it stays and other times it still might get deleted. I go through my entire photo file once a year to see if I still want to keep everything, and because of my earlier culling it’s rare that a photo gets deleted during this process.

Photos of family members and family events usually always make the cut, but not all of them. Pictures from our travels over the years have been gleaned, and I am satisfied with the ones that remain and the memories they provide.

There are a few pictures though I keep for a different reason.

The picture of our living room at the top of the page is one of them. I see this room every day, so why do I keep this picture? It was taken when we returned from our trip up to Massachusetts last September for WenYu’s wedding. We’d been away for seven days, and this was the view that greeting me when I walked in the door of our apartment. Something I’ve seen hundreds of time.

This time though the room spoke to me, and said You’re home! Come be comfortable again.

I took a picture of that moment. And nearly six months later I still feel the warmth of that homecoming whenever I look at the picture. I still feel the welcome and the comfort.

There are a couple of other photos that speak to me, although with emotions deeper than mere memory. I still feel the deep, jumbled emotions I had as we left Kauai in May 2022 in the picture of the coastline, taken from the plane window as we took off. What are we thinking leaving Hawaii? We are so happy there? The green light in the second photo was located by the woods at our first apartment in Tennessee. I saw it every time I went out for a walk and for some reason felt a deep chill every time I walked past it. That light was always on, day and night, and there were no other green lights at the complex. And no one at the complex knew why it was green or why it was there. Just the picture still gives me an unsettled feeling.

All the photos in my files are memories and moments caught in time. All are beloved, but these other ones are kept because they spoke to me in a different way, in voices I can still hear and feel.

Home Cooking: Cake Delight

Posted on by Laura & Brett

The recipe for this delicious cake was given to me in 1978 by the secretary in Brett’s office when he was an instructor at NAS Millington. Our son had just been born and she took it upon herself to look after us, making sure we and our new baby were doing okay.

Lynn shared several recipes with me, from cookies to casseroles. I kind of laugh now whenever I make this cake because I’m not sure how we could have afforded the ingredients for it back then, but I do remember making it whenever I could because it’s so good. I always made it the “traditional” way too, with three layers, and I remember it barely fitting into my beloved Tupperware Caketaker.

For some reason unknown to me now I stopped making this cake for many, many years. Maybe because we got away from eating things like Cool Whip and instant pudding? Who knows? Anyway, I had totally forgotten about it but found the recipe when I was looking through my collection of recipes last year for something else. I made the cake as a surprise for Brett’s birthday and we fell in love with it all over again. Actually, I have yet to meet anyone who doesn’t fall head over heels in love with Cake Delight. My grandchildren are notoriously picky when it comes to cakes but they gobble this one up and love, love, love the “frosting.”

Cake Delight is meant to be served cold, and needs to be stored in the refrigerator. I make it now in a 9″ X 13″ pan and works out just as well as when I made it with layers.

CAKE DELIGHT

Cake:

  • 1 box yellow cake mix (Duncan Hines golden butter cake mix is recommended)
  • 4 eggs
  • 1/2 cup vegetable oil
  • 1 10.5-ounce can of mandarin oranges

Frosting:

  • 1 8-ounce tub of non-dairy whipped cream
  • 1 3.4-ounce package instant vanilla pudding
  • 1 20-ounce can crushed pineapple

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Add the eggs and oil to the cake mix and beat well. Add the entire can of mandarin oranges (including the juice) to the batter and beat until the oranges are broken up and incorporated into the batter. Pour the batter into either three buttered 8″ round cake pans or a buttered 9″ x 13″ pan. Bake for 35-40 minutes or until the cake is done.

Cool the cake thoroughly.

When the cake is cool blend together the non-dairy whipped cream with the instant pudding, then fold in the crushed pineapple, including the juice. Let the mixture thicken and then frost the cake, either between the layers and up the sides and on top, or in a thick layer on the 9″ x 13″ cake. Chill the entire cake completely before serving; store leftovers in the refrigerator. 

Too Good To Go

Posted on by Laura & Brett

Would you be interested in adding a little fun and mystery to your usual food shopping at a low price and saving good food from going to waste?

Last month we saved three “bags” of food: one was a $9.99 bag of prepared foods from Whole Foods that contained two curry chicken meals (value: $10.59 each) and two boxes of roasted beets (value: $10.19 and $10.29). We ate the beets right away and put the curry meals into the freezer. Last week we got a $19.50 assorted box of donuts from Krispie Kreme to share with our grandkids for just $6.99.

We have been using Too Good To Go for the past few months (usually around two to three times a month) – our youngest daughter turned us onto the program – and we have been able to add some delicious treats to our usual groceries each month for very little. We love the boxes of Krispie Kreme donuts we can get for $6.99, but we’ve also gotten bakery treats for $6.99 from Whole Foods, and huge steamed bao (three of them: pork, chicken, and beef) for $4.99 from a local Asian restaurant, and a bag with fresh mozzarella cheese, gourmet chocolates, and crackers for $9.99, also from Whole Foods.

A third TooGoodToGo bag this month was from the Whole Foods bakery for $6.99. It contained four giant pretzel butterscotch cookies (value: $6.49), four large orange cranberry muffins (value: $7.49), and an Abe’s vegan coffee cake (value: $8.99).

Too Good To Go partners with food businesses to offer bags of food that are still perfectly good to eat but because of sell-by dating cannot be sold in stores or restaurants the next day. Here’s an example of how it works: I’ll get a notification during the day that Whole Foods will have some bags from their bakery available that evening. I click on the TGTG app, reserve a bag and pay for it, and then Brett and I go pick it up in the evening. We never know what we’re going to get but every bakery bag we’ve bought so far has always contained high quality items, ones that are either at their sell-by date or the day after. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a whole (even a half!) pie from the bakery one of these days, but so far we’ve gotten bagels, cookies, brownies, turnovers, scones, muffins, coffee cake, and other great bakery items. The value of every bag or box we’ve purchased has been worth at least three times what we’ve paid for it.

If you want to get in on the savings (and fun), start by downloading the Too Good To Go app to your smartphone. Set your location, and select a few favorite types of food you’d be interested in getting (our favorites are the Whole Foods bakery bags, Whole Foods prepared foods, Krispie Kreme, and a nearby Asian restaurant). Every area is different and has different participating markets, bakeries, and restaurants with different offerings. Setting up favorites and alarms on the app is the best way to find out the minute bags become available, very important as the bags can sell out very, very quickly. It can feel frustrating to lose out on a bag, and it might take a couple of tries to snag one – they’re very popular.

When you do reserve a bag, you’ll need a mobile wallet service to pay before it’s officially yours. Also, be sure to take your phone when collecting the bag – stores will ask to see proof on the Too Good To Go app that you’ve reserved and paid for it.

And then, enjoy!